Physical Armor

Most of the time it comes out of nowhere. An unexpected email. Finding a Rory treasure I haven’t seen since her passing. A reminder.

I’m so grateful for these things. I hope I have unexpected Rory things happen for the rest of my life.

But it also provides increased emotion. Anxiety. Tears.

My first instinct is to close off. My hand goes to my shoulder, shielding my body. Soon, I started reaching for her. Things that remind me her.

I wear jewelry everyday that keeps Rory close to me.

A ring with her fingerprint on it.

Or a bracelet and ring that has Rory and my birthstones, given to me by my sister-in-laws.

Necklaces, given to me by dear friends, some with Rory’s picture in them.

And sometimes, I just need a comfy pair of purple shoes.

They’re touchstones.

Something I can physically grasp.

When I need her to be with me.

When I need to feel not so alone.