Rory’s death is statistically not great.
Her age.
How she died.
All of it.
It makes everyday feel like anything can happen.
Since her death, I panic a lot. Especially about my family.
When the boys sleep in longer than they usually do, I creep toward their door.
With every step I’m praying.
Please let him be alive.
Please let him be alive.
Please let him be alive.
I can’t breathe again until I see their chests going up and down.
Today, Chiler went outside and was lying on the trampoline.
In my head I kept trying to convince myself.
He’s fine.
He’s just enjoying the outside.
I couldn’t stand it.
I had to go outside and make sure he was okay.
Praying the whole way.
I was just thinking about this recently wondering if you do this very thing you describe here. Sorry you have to experience these thoughts and fears. Love you and your sweet family.
LikeLike