Brain Problems

I’ve read articles where experts talk about the affects of grief on the brain. The idea that people in the depths of grief don’t have the same brain function as they did before.

There’s truth to that.

I can’t speak to the science. I have no idea. I can speak to my everyday brain.

I have always been a scheduled person. I want plan out days, weeks, months.

I was eager to plan holiday celebrations.

I loved planning vacations.

I was on time and kept my life and my family’s life in order.

Man, that’s not how my life runs anymore.

I have to calendar every event. If it’s not in my phone, I won’t remember it.

Planning activities feel so overwhelming. If it’s more than three steps then it’s too much for me. We’re winging way more than we used to.

The number of times I open my computer to look something up, or turn on my phone, or walk into another room and completely forget what I’m doing. It’s UNREAL! Things are gone from my brain in seconds! I mean, I did that occasionally before, but now, it’s off the charts.

Between Lance and I, we pull off vacations together, each taking a part. Even then, it’s not planned out like it once was.

One of the things I’ve noticed is that my brain is constantly trying to process grief. Every minute, it’s working through the trauma, the sadness, the missing, the strategies to get my family and me through this hard life.

This leaves a lot less brain power for the everyday.

When people say that grief affects every aspect of people’s lives, it’s true.

Down to everyday functioning.

Down to brain power.