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Our Triplets

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When Lance would try to confuse people, he’d tell them that Chiler, Xander, and Rory were triplets.

People would look at them with furrowed brows.

Technically, they are triplets.

They were conceived at the same time.

We struggled for many years to have kids. We had IVF with to have the twins. Embryos kept splitting. On the day the twins were implanted, the doctors picked the best two. Then they let the rest of the embryos continue splitting until zygote stage.

Two zygotes were good and healthy and we froze them.

One was our Rory.

We worked hard to get those boys and that girl here.

I’ll be forever grateful for medical miracles. I’m so grateful for my boys. For my girl.

In case you’re wondering, we call Dax our love child. Only one naturally conceived. A different kind of miracle.

One More Angel in Heaven

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After we moved across town, we attended a different congregation of our church. On that Sunday, the first people to introduce themselves was a cute older couple, Dick and Donna Pexton.

They were kind and welcoming.

It wasn’t long until we realized we had something in common. We’d both had a child pass away. Ours was fresh, theirs was 60 years ago. But it bonded us.

A few weeks ago they realized Donna’s cancer would not be cured. I had the opportunity to sit with them. Talk with them. Love them.

Last week, Lance and I had the opportunity to sit with them again. This was different. She was near the end.

There was such beauty, in a hard situation. I witnessed a daughter laying next to her mom, holding her hand, caring for her. I witnessed a loving husband, looking after his lifelong sweetheart.

I’m sure that situation didn’t change much until Donna passed away Sunday night.

My first thought was how happy that reunion must have been between Donna and her baby boy. He’s been waiting a long time to hold his mom again.

As I sat there with Dick and Donna that day, my spirit cried out to her spirit, “Give my girl a hug too. She gives really good ones.”

I hope Rory’s found Donna. She’s spunky too. They’d really get along.

Love you, Dick and Donna.

It’s a Wonderful Life

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A couple of weeks ago a friend told me she was praying for me. My mom said, it’s like there’s a Clarence up there saying who’s this Stephanie Moore everyone is praying for?

That thought got me teary-eyed.

I’m so unbelievably grateful for the thoughts and prayers. We truly need them.

I know we have a cute little red head looking out for us. But I know we also have other angels surrounding us right now. Because of all of you.

In It’s a Wonderful Life, Clarence tells George, “No man is a failure who has friends.”

I’ll add that no one is hopeless either.

Thank you. 💜💜

It’s How the Brain Deals

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A while ago Lance and I were talking with our grief counselor. We were sharing our fear that Rory isn’t always going to be at the forefront of our brains. That there may come a time that we won’t think of her as often.

He told us it’s going to happen.

This is our brain’s coping mechanism.

There will be nothing new with Rory.

No new events.

No doctors appointments.

No homework.

No tucking her in at night.

Nothing.

All that’s left is memories.

And that’s how our brain will treat it.

Memories.

Instead our brains will focus on current events.

The boys’ homework.

Their dental appointments.

Their activities.

Their tuck ins.

Their worries.

That all moves to the forefront.

Rory memories aren’t gone. But they’re filed away.

I can’t resent my brain. It’s helping me cope and function.

But I hate that there’s nothing new.

I wish there was a new event. A new memory I can create with Rory.

A Memory- Church Waves

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I have quite a few things I loved about Rory at church.

Lance didn’t sit with us much. He served in leadership callings that required him to sit up front.

That meant I had four kids that would fight to sit on either side of me. But really the boys fought to sit on one side because Rory always got the other. She was my little buddy.

Rory would look up at Lance and wave and wave. I would put her hand down and the next second it would fly back up. That continued until Lance acknowledged and waved back. She was happy to see her dad up there.

She was happy.