Tag: hard things

Mother’s Day

stephaniemoorewrites
This picture was taken by Mrs. Williams, her first grade teacher. She believed in Rory. She took this after Rory got a 100% on her final spelling test, correctly spelling all 175 words. Thank you, Natalie!

I believe strongly that it takes a village to raise kids.

As parents we do all we can for them.

But there are times they need people outside of us.

Grandma, aunts, cousins, neighbors, moms of friends, teachers, doctors, fellow church members, etc.

This group of people have made such a huge impact on my children.

I am eternally grateful for people that love my kids.

I’m grateful for people that reach out to them, that take time to get to know them.

Rory was in a unique situation that she got to know a lot of adults in her life. She had so many classroom parents that loved her. The school secretaries had a special relationship with her. Almost all of her teachers expressed how much they loved her.

I’m so grateful for the people that took the time to love her.

To all the women out there that love my kids.

Thank you.

I love you.

I need you.

Happy Mother’s Day.

International Bereaved Mother’s Day

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To the mom with an extra seat at the table.

To the mom with empty arms today.

To the mom with a vacant seat in the car.

To the mom with a hole in her heart.

To the mom who sobs on their birthday.

To the mom who clings to clothing late at night.

To the mom whose life never quite feels complete.

To the mom who makes it through each hour.

To the mom who holds tighter to those around.

To the mom who loves harder now.

To the mom who falls to her knees.

To the mom who finds strength somehow.

To the mom whose loss seems more than she can bear.

To the mom who stands each day anyway.

To my fellow bereaved mothers. Thank you for sharing your stories. I’m so sorry this is our journey. I see you. I love you. You make me feel less alone.

To those that love and support us. Thank you. Texting, prayers, drop by’s, treats, stories of our child, hugs, they sustain us and provide hope. We love you.

From Missing to Moana

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We went on a Dolphin/Turtle Excursion a couple of days ago in Hawaii.

We were so excited!! A new adventure for the boys!

As the boat took off, my thoughts turned to Rory.

My breathing accelerated.

Tears were prickling my eyes.

But I didn’t want to miss this moment with my family.

I wanted to stay in control.

I didn’t want them to worry about me.

I started praying.

Help me.

Help me feel her.

Help me know she’s around us.

Help me know she’s here.

Send her to us.

Please.

I miss her.

I miss her so much.

I took a deep breath.

In my mind I could see her next to me. Her hand on mine.

Then Moana came on the boat’s stereo. Not the whole song just a couple stanzas.

The movie that was on repeat before she died.

“The line where the sky meets the sea? It calls me
And no one knows, how far it goes
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me
One day I’ll know, how far I’ll go”

The line between Heaven and Earth.

It calls to me.

I’m grateful it blurs somedays.

My Hope Because of Him

stephaniemoorewrites

The week after Rory’s death, there were so many hard things.

One of the most painful was her viewing. Seeing my baby girl. Lifeless.

I took her precious hand between mine for the last time. Her hands that touch my cheeks. Her hands that picked up and loved baby chicks. Her hands that wrapped around my leg when she was scared. Her hands that wrote her name and mine.

But she was empty.

There was no light.

Her spirit was gone.

The girl that beamed and was full of life, was a shell.

But this is where we welcome the hope of Easter.

Our Savior was crucified and His body lay in a tomb.

His body, a shell of the amazing man He once was. His hands that performed miracles. His hands that washed disciples’ feet. His hands that held up children. His hands that brought people to Him. His hands used in service and love.

His hands that are still scarred from the sacrifice He made for me and you.

When Mary went to the tomb on Sunday morning, His body was gone.

His body and spirit were reunited.

Giving me hope.

Rory’s body won’t remain lifeless.

Her body and spirit will be reunited again.

Our Rory will be whole.

Because of Him.

Being Brave, Being Who You Are

stephaniemoorewrites

People felt close to Rory.

If you were to ask me, she was a mama’s girl.

If you were to ask Lance, she was a daddy’s girl.

If you were to ask Chiler, Xander or Dax, each of them would probably say that he was her favorite.

Here’s the thing:

It’s all true.

When she was with one of us, we were the most important person.

In my book club this month, we read Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown. It made me realize something about Rory and how she was able to do this.

In Braving, Brown says:

“True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”

Rory was authentic.

Rory was brave, in that she embraced who she was and just loved people.

It enabled her to engage freely with others.

She didn’t sit back, she put her sweet hands on people’s cheeks and made sure they were present in the conversation as well.

She truly belonged with each of us. And we felt it.

What a gift she gave us.

A place where we always belonged.