Tag: new me

Emotional energy is very real thing. And it’s not unlimited.

When I start a day I think of what I’m going to need to do. What’s going to be hard? What am I going to have to prepare myself for?

The little things require more effort than they used to, so I have to gear up for even the simplest of events.

Going to Sam’s Club

Taking the boys places

Cooking dinner. I hate cooking dinner right now!

Going to church

Making treats

All of it. Even things that I enjoy.

Emotions are beautiful. But each one carries a weight.

Grief

Anger

Fear

Make it so worth it when you feel

Joy

Peace and

Love.

There are going to be some themes that will carry between multiple blog posts. This is one of them.

I’m a different person.

My emotions are heighten. Any given time, any given day. They’re high.

Before, if you measured my emotions on a yard stick, they’d probably be around the foot mark. Toward the middle. My emotions could heighten but I’d still have a good two feet before I was ready to lose it.

It’s not like that anymore.

Especially on harder days.

I cry easily.

Get frustrated easier.

Sometimes I think, “Do they not know what’s going on in my head?”

They don’t.

No one does. And it’s not an expectation I really have.

I try and take more breaths before I react. Try to have more patience than I’m really feeling. Try to keep my crap together until I get to my van.

I don’t love this new part of me. But I’m hoping time will bring more self control.