You Gotta Have Faith

Me about Rory’s age when she passed.

I enjoy reading other people’s Facebook posts. I like to see happy. I like to see the good and the fun going on with my friends and family. It’s hopeful.

Sometimes when I see these posts they’re framed with the idea that God is good. They’re expressing their gratitude to God and love for their life.

It makes me wonder.

If their life suddenly turned into something like my life, would their love and gratitude remain? Would they still proclaim, “God is good?”

It makes me wonder.

Do I express my love and gratitude? Do I still say, “God is good?”

When I was about the age Rory was when she passed away, I started grappling with the idea of Heavenly Father’s love for me. I had faith in my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ but I couldn’t understand why They would send me down here to fail.

I had this feeling that I would never be good enough.

It sent me on a soul search for over a decade.

What I realized as I studied, thought, and prayed is that God is love.

He’s absolute love.

When I read the New Testament about the life of Jesus Christ, He is love.

My Heavenly Parents and Jesus Christ loved those people.

I’ve felt Their love for my family. My parents. My husband. My kids. My friends. Those I serve.

I felt Their love for me. By faith. And it was a hard earned personal revelation. But it’s the cornerstone that’s sustained me these last few months.

Love. God sacrificed His son for me. For all of us. Jesus Christ suffered for me. For all of us.

My love for Rory is probably less than 1/100th of Their love for me. For all of us.

And I love Rory a whole lot.

While my life is more painful, that love hasn’t changed. They haven’t forsaken me.

I don’t understand it.

I don’t necessarily love my life as much right now I’m grateful for it.

I have Faith.

I have hope.

I know I’m not walking alone.

That enables me to take my next footstep.

It helps me to still say, “God is good.”

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