Tag: memory

It’s How the Brain Deals

stephaniemoorewrites

A while ago Lance and I were talking with our grief counselor. We were sharing our fear that Rory isn’t always going to be at the forefront of our brains. That there may come a time that we won’t think of her as often.

He told us it’s going to happen.

This is our brain’s coping mechanism.

There will be nothing new with Rory.

No new events.

No doctors appointments.

No homework.

No tucking her in at night.

Nothing.

All that’s left is memories.

And that’s how our brain will treat it.

Memories.

Instead our brains will focus on current events.

The boys’ homework.

Their dental appointments.

Their activities.

Their tuck ins.

Their worries.

That all moves to the forefront.

Rory memories aren’t gone. But they’re filed away.

I can’t resent my brain. It’s helping me cope and function.

But I hate that there’s nothing new.

I wish there was a new event. A new memory I can create with Rory.

A Memory- Church Waves

stephaniemoorewrites

I have quite a few things I loved about Rory at church.

Lance didn’t sit with us much. He served in leadership callings that required him to sit up front.

That meant I had four kids that would fight to sit on either side of me. But really the boys fought to sit on one side because Rory always got the other. She was my little buddy.

Rory would look up at Lance and wave and wave. I would put her hand down and the next second it would fly back up. That continued until Lance acknowledged and waved back. She was happy to see her dad up there.

She was happy.

A Cruise Memory

stephaniemoorewrites

I’ve missed Rory so much the last couple of day, I need to share a memory.

In May 2016 we went on a two week transatlantic cruise with our kids. It was amazing! We got to spend a lot of quality time together that’s beyond priceless now.

One of Rory’s favorite things to do was stand by the buttons in the elevator and ask people, “What floor?”

One time she came back from kids club with the boys and she had a dollar bill.

She was in the elevator pushing buttons for people and someone gave her a tip.

She was the cutest bellhop.

A Memory- Come and Find Me

stephaniemoorewrites

One day Rory wanted to play hide and go seek. The first place I looked was her room and found this:

Can you see her?

Then I looked in the closet:

Where’s Rory?

Then the next day we played again.

We were back in her room.

She wasn’t always the greatest of hiders when we were playing.

But when I was actually looking for her.

When we needed to go somewhere.

When I needed to talk to her.

Then she became stealth.

I would yell and yell around the house searching for her. At times in an absolute panic. Finally she’d come out with a big smile on her face.

“What, Mom?”

A Memory— The List

stephaniemoorewrites

Rory was, by far, my pickiest eater. The boys couldn’t get away with it. There were too many of them, close together. I needed them to eat what I put in front of them.

Rory, well, she had a list.

When it started there were five things she would eat:

Corn dogs

French fries

Chicken nuggets

Fruit snacks

Goldfish.

Luckily, the list did expand. But I’d be lying if I said it got much healthier.

I’d have her eat broccoli. She’d gag it down. Literally, the entire time she was eating, she was gagging.

Every once in a while I’d ask her to try something and she would, with a smile, tell me that wasn’t on her list.

She was so dang cute saying that, I’d totally let it go.

Because of her “restrictive list”, I would always have her favorites on hand.

Buying those things are hard. Still.

But they’re on the boys’ list too.