my story – Page 26 – Rory Ann Moore Foundation

The Decision to do Online Homeschool

September 4, 2018September 4, 2018 stephaniemoorewrites

There were a number of factors that lead to our family doing online homeschool. It’s definitely not something that I’d thought much about before.

But, right now, it felt right.

The twins are freshman this year. Freshman!

I have four more years. That’s it! Then it’s college, mission, marriage, their own families.

I have four more years until they’re out of the house, doing their own things.

And I want that for them.

But I also want my four years.

I want to vacation when we want to.

I want to eat lunch together everyday.

I want to have scripture study with them in the mornings.

I want to cook with them.

I like them.

I love them.

I want my time with them.

Here are our back to school photos for 2018-2019:

A Memory- Covering Up

August 31, 2018August 31, 2018 stephaniemoorewrites

Rory believed that all animals, even inanimate ones, needed to be covered up.

I loved walking into a room and to see this.

My Relationship with Grief Today

August 29, 2018August 30, 2018 stephaniemoorewrites

Grief is isolating.

We mourn with others.

We grieve alone.

The pain is the missing.

Her voice.

Her sweet smile.

Her laugh. Even the fake ones.

Her snuggles.

Her winks.

It’s in the quiet moments.

Those soul crushing quiet moments.

Banging on the steering wheel.

Pounding the bed.

Dropping to your knees, pain.

Curling up in the closet, crying.

Grappling with the could of’s and the should of’s.

That will never be.

Trying to find contentment.

Trying to be as whole as possible.

Never quite successful.

But I want to be.

I have hope.

Not always on the surface.

Not always accessible.

But there.

I have hope that I will see her again.

Because of Him.

Memory- No Crying

August 27, 2018 stephaniemoorewrites

Rory was very sympathetic. Maybe even empathetic.

She did not like for others to be sad.

She played with anyone and everyone on the playground.

When people were sad, she freely gave hugs.

When I would cry she would hold my face in her hands and wipe my tears. Then ask me if I was okay.

I guarantee I wasn’t only one that received that blessing.

She would’ve hated the last 9 1/2 months as I’ve cried everyday.

She would not have liked to see me this way.

I’m trying.

I’m doing.

I’m loving.

Like you did, sweet baby girl.

Our Triplets

August 23, 2018 stephaniemoorewrites

When Lance would try to confuse people, he’d tell them that Chiler, Xander, and Rory were triplets.

People would look at them with furrowed brows.

Technically, they are triplets.

They were conceived at the same time.

We struggled for many years to have kids. We had IVF with to have the twins. Embryos kept splitting. On the day the twins were implanted, the doctors picked the best two. Then they let the rest of the embryos continue splitting until zygote stage.

Two zygotes were good and healthy and we froze them.

One was our Rory.

We worked hard to get those boys and that girl here.

I’ll be forever grateful for medical miracles. I’m so grateful for my boys. For my girl.

In case you’re wondering, we call Dax our love child. Only one naturally conceived. A different kind of miracle.