Blog

The Lazarus Miracle

stephaniemoorewrites
Still taken from a beautiful bible video: https://www.lds.org/bible-videos/videos/lazarus-is-raised-from-the-dead?lang=eng

When there’s loss, especially unexpected, I think Lazarus comes to mind.

The miracle.

Lazarus was dead for days but came back to life.

We want, and secretly hope for, a Lazarus miracle.

I’ve read those verses more times in the last year than all the rest of my life.

The verses have new meaning.

Jesus Christ is separated from Mary and Martha at the time of Lazarus’ death. He was out doing His Father’s work.

Four days after Lazarus’ passing, Jesus Christ arrived to visit their family.

Martha heard of His coming and ran out to meet Him. She said to Him:

“Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.”

Martha demonstrated beautiful faith. In response, Jesus Christ said:

“Thy brother shall rise again.”

Again, she exercises faith. She believes! And went and to get Mary as instructed

When Mary saw Jesus Christ, she fell to His feet and cried. Repeating the words that Martha had said to Him:

“Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.”

Seeing Mary and Martha in their grief, mourning, the scriptures say that Christ “groaned in the spirit, and was troubled.”

The women take Christ to the tomb. There, “Jesus wept.”

Jesus Christ knew why He was there. He was there to raise Lazarus from the dead.

Not only did Christ have a perfect eternal perspective, He knew that in minutes Lazarus would be with them again. Breathing. Alive.

In those moments He didn’t entice Mary and Martha to have an eternal view. He didn’t say to just wait a minute and things will get better.

He cried with them.

He talked with them.

He mourned with them.

He loved them.

It’s okay to be sad in our trials.

Jesus Christ was.

It’s okay to mourn when loved ones die.

Jesus Christ did.

It’s important to be there for others when they need you.

Jesus Christ was.

It’s important to have faith in Christ, like Mary and Martha. Like them, it’s important to find hope in Him.

And like Jesus Christ, it’s important lift up our eyes in all circumstances. To talk to the Father.

“Father, I thank thee that thou hadst heard me.”

The Father hears us.

In our anger and frustration. In our despair and grief. And our moments of absolute joy.

He is there for us.

He loves us.

Always.

**These references come from the King James Version of the Bible. John, Chapter 11.

What Started It All

stephaniemoorewrites

Happy Valentine’s Day to you all.

I thought it be fun to share the beginnings of our family. And since I’m writing it, it’s my side of the story. Haha!

Lance and I were up at Northern Arizona University in the Fall of 1999. He was starting his masters in mathematics and I was a freshman.

We met at a pick up volleyball game one night. I wouldn’t say it was love at first sight for either of us. But when we’d go to our church building in the weeks to come, we’d bump into each other quite a bit.

Our true romance happened at the math building. We’re nerds!

I had an early morning class and Lance taught an early morning class. Not the same class! After my class I’d sit in the foyer and wait for my roommate to finish up her class. Lance and I would sit and talk everyday day that I was there.

It wasn’t long until we were on our first date. We went repelling as a little group. After we were done he said let’s go see a movie tonight.

And that was it.

There hasn’t been a day since that we haven’t talked to each other.

We met in August, got engaged in October, and got married January 7th.

It was a whirlwind.

Now, we’re 19 years into our romance.

We’re not quite the youngens from the pictures above anymore.

Sometimes when I look at pictures like these I think, oh guys, you have no idea what’s coming.

Love, happiness.

Grief, pain.

If you didn’t have one set, you wouldn’t understand or appreciate the other.

When we got married, we didn’t have a song. So we told the DJ just go ahead and pick one for us. Surprise us!

Big mistake. It was an awful Whitney Houston song. (Yeah, I didn’t know one of those existed either.)

A couple years later, we did decide on our song. Fools Rush In by Elvis Presley.

“Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can’t help falling in love with you.”

Share love today. Give big hugs. Tell those close to you that you love them.

Today, doesn’t just have to be about chocolates and flowers.

Make it about loving those around you.

But chocolate never hurts.

Love you all! *big virtual hugs*

It’s Still Here.

stephaniemoorewrites

I thought I’d feel some relief coming down off Rory’s birthday. It was officially the end of our “holiday season.”

It just hasn’t come.

Like the weather outside, I feel like I’m surrounded by clouds.

I feel maxed with stress. With emotions. With frustration.

Things that might have just blown right over me, aren’t. My emotions are at a place where they’re to the rim, ready to overflow at the next thing that hurts.

I’m angry.

Sad.

Upset.

I try to breathe through it. I mean, I’m acknowledging that I’m getting set off. But it’s just not possible right now.

I’m exhausted.

Physically and emotionally.

Trying to be “normal” right now requires so much energy.

I remember a few weeks ago going to an event and I practiced smiling as I walked in.

I had to practice smiling because it just doesn’t come as naturally. Or as often.

Especially right now.

I took that picture above last week as snow was coming down. I looked over at the sun and it was fighting.

It was fighting its way through the clouds to provide light to us.

That’s what I’m doing right now. I’m fighting. I’m trying to figure a way out of the grief clouds that are surrounding me.

I have hope that I’ll break through.

I will.

I always do.

There are four men that need me to.

Happy Birthday (Part 2)

stephaniemoorewrites

Today is Rory’s birthday. My hope was a day filled with love, service, and family.

That’s what we got.

We have felt so much love from all of you. Thank you for helping us with the service project. Thank you for sending texts, messages, and comments. We read each one and they mean so much to us. Thank you doesn’t quite reach how much your thoughts and prayers mean to us.

The humane society was thrilled with the donations. The service project was a brain saver for me as January kept pressing me into the ground.

We spent the day doing fun things with the boys. We created “Kid’s Day” for them in memory of Rory. We want it to be a tradition that lasts the years. Our hope is that when the boys have babies they can tell them Kid’s Day is in honor of Aunt Rory. Their Aunt that they won’t know in this life. But was here. And was amazing.

Our hope is that one day a year will always be dedicated to Rory.

To service.

To love.

And to family.

Rory would love that.

Hitting Double Digits (Birthday Part One)

stephaniemoorewrites

Tomorrow is Rory’s birthday. But I want to celebrate and love tomorrow. Today, I want to scream and cry.

If Rory was still here I probably would have written:

And just like this, my baby girl is 10.

My baby has hit the double digits. I can’t believe it!

I probably would have commented on all the growth she had this year.

How she’s made so many new friends.

I’d probably have commented on how fast time goes by.

About what an incredible young woman she’s becoming. How proud I am of her.

I hate that I don’t get to say these things.

That I miss out on so much with her.

I just want to scream today.

I miss her!

I want her!

It’s not fair she’s not here!

But mostly, I want to tell my girl:

I think about you everyday.

I listen for you.

I search for you.

I try to share love like you would have.

I love you, my sweet baby girl.

Forever.

And ever.