Tag: grief

Memory: Pretending to be a Dog

stephaniemoorewrites

Rory loved animals. I’ve shared that.

She pretended to be a dog all the time.

She’d go down on her hands and knees or sometimes just bend her elbows.

She would bark.

She would pant.

Sometimes she’d try to lick an arm or face. That was less enjoyable.

As she was getting older, I began noticing she’d turn into a dog when her anxiety increased.

Aside from play times with her friends, she’d turn pretend to be a dog when she didn’t know what to do with herself.

When she didn’t know how to act or what to say.

Her pretend time as a dog was starting to wane by the time she passed away.

But I’m grateful it wasn’t completely gone because I can still hear echos of her barks in my head.

I miss that.

I miss her.

WIFYR: Rory Ann Moore Scholarship for Teens

stephaniemoorewrites

I help with a writing conference that happens every June, Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers. It’s an incredible conference and has introduced me to so many amazing people.

A few years ago the conference head and dear friend, Carol Lynch Williams and I talked about having a workshop for teens. I loved the idea! All the writers at the conference write for children so to have a class dedicated to encouraging teens in their own writing pursuits seemed perfect.

It didn’t work out, until last year.

We had our first teen class!

And it was 100% on scholarship!

Carol and I worked on the class together and it was a success.

Unknown to me, the WIFYR committee named the scholarship in Rory’s honor.

It was so special to me.

The conference committee and the attendees have become a big extended family to me throughout the last few years.

And to honor my daughter in such a special way, in a cause that’s so close to my heart. It was amazing.

I love you, my writing family!

If you know a high schooler that’s serious about writing, please encourage them to apply. This is such an amazing opportunity!

https://www.wifyr.com/scholarship-for-teens/

Happening Too Fast

stephaniemoorewrites

In our church, the children’s program goes until the age of 12 then kids go into a young women or young men program.

The change over happens in January.

Today, we no longer have kids in the children’s program.

It’s hard to stomach.

It would have happened eventually. I know. But it shouldn’t be happening now.

I don’t have “children” anymore. I have three young men.

And I love my young men.

I love our friendships.

But I miss my baby girl. My little lady.

Rory’s Birthday Service Project

stephaniemoorewrites

Holidays are hard.

Starting with Halloween, there are a lot of days Lance and I would rather stay in bed.

Our “holiday season” ends February 6th with Rory’s birthday.

Last year, leading up to her birthday is when my sleeping and emotional state hit an all time low.

The one thing that kept me sane was our children’s hospital service projects.

So we’re doing another service project this year!

We’re doing something that was near and dear to Rory’s heart.

ANIMALS!

She loved them all! (Except roosters.)

We’re going to be collecting items for our local animal shelter. And we’d LOVE your help. Here are some examples of things they’re in need of:

  • Fleece blankets and towels (used or new)
  • Wet cat food or broth for sick cats
  • Cat and dog toys
  • Soft cat and dog treats
  • Canned dog and cat food
  • Newspaper
  • Disinfectant wipes
  • Paper towels
  • Bleach
  • Trash bags (kitchen and liner trash bags)
  • Sponges
  • Anti-Bacterial dish soap
  • Latex gloves (Large, medium & small)
  • Q-Tips
  • Rubbing alcohol
  • Band Aids (all sizes)
  • Distilled Water
  • Medical tape
  • Ink Pens (Blue/Black)
  • Duct Tape
  • Tape
  • Batteries (AAA, AA and 9V)
  • Copier Paper
  • Scissors
  • Staplers
  • Highlighters
  • Sharpies (all colors)
  • Paper Clips
  • Rubber Band

    • Message or email me for my contact information.

    Thank you for helping us celebrate her birthday!

    The Christmas Story

    stephaniemoorewrites

    For Christmas, Lance and I got the boys nerf guns. We thought it’d be a fun thing for them to do in the winter months.

    After we opened presents, we were all sitting around chatting and we started an impromptu nerf gun war.

    It was fun.

    For those few minutes I felt freely happy.

    Not “put a smile on my face.”

    Not hyphenated happy.

    Freely happy.

    Then I got shot in the eye.

    As I laid there holding my eye, I thought, I’m not allowed to be freely happy anymore. That part of my life is obviously done.

    If I feel freely happy then it’ll cause physical pain, mental pain, or emotional pain. It’s just not in the cards for me.

    I was thinking about it more as I sat in the ER with my mom. Then throughout the rest of the day.

    At the end of the night, the seven of us made goals of service and love that we can do throughout this year.

    This is mine: to be freely happy with my family.

    It’s not an easy goal because if I’m trying, then it’s putting a smile on my face.

    Instead, I’m going to try in live in the moment more.

    I’m going to put myself in more situations with them that I can let go. That I won’t feel so hyphenated. If only for a few minutes.

    I want my boys to have more than a hyphenated mom.

    I’m realistic. I don’t think I’ll experience it daily or weekly or probably even monthly. But experiencing it five times in 2019 will be more times than I experienced it this year.

    That’s a win.

    That’s starting to live a Rory life-loving life.