Tag: rory

Star Wars

stephaniemoorewrites

We’re a Star Wars family. I grew up watching it. When the movies were rereleased, I saw all three in the theater.

When they came out with new ones! Yay!! I stayed up until midnight (on my high school graduation night) and watched The Phantom Menace. (I almost fell asleep multiple times.)

With my kids, particularly Rory, I was so excited for Star Wars: Force Awakens. Rey is an amazing leading lady. She’s kind, strong, and loving. She was abandoned by her family but still cares about a little robot that comes across her path.

I loved this Jedi for my daughter.

As I go through my everyday life I like to think of ways to include Rory in it still.

I like to point out things she would have liked.

Things I would have liked for her.

Things that make me think of her.

Earlier this month we met my mom, dad, sister and her family at Boondocks. There was this cardboard cut out of Rey that we can “buy” with tickets.

I thought of Rory.

I’d have loved to put that in her room. Celebrate a strong woman with her.

I mentioned to my parents that I thought it was cool.

A few days later, this arrived.

I think of Rory. With every glance.

A Memory— The List

stephaniemoorewrites

Rory was, by far, my pickiest eater. The boys couldn’t get away with it. There were too many of them, close together. I needed them to eat what I put in front of them.

Rory, well, she had a list.

When it started there were five things she would eat:

Corn dogs

French fries

Chicken nuggets

Fruit snacks

Goldfish.

Luckily, the list did expand. But I’d be lying if I said it got much healthier.

I’d have her eat broccoli. She’d gag it down. Literally, the entire time she was eating, she was gagging.

Every once in a while I’d ask her to try something and she would, with a smile, tell me that wasn’t on her list.

She was so dang cute saying that, I’d totally let it go.

Because of her “restrictive list”, I would always have her favorites on hand.

Buying those things are hard. Still.

But they’re on the boys’ list too.

That Feeling. She’s Here.

stephaniemoorewrites

I’ve stated a few times that I’ve had experiences that tell me Rory still exists and that she’s still around.

I haven’t specifically shared them because they’re personal and some are sacred to me.

But I want to share the one I had today.

I’ve had something weighty hanging over my head the last few days. I keep thinking, where does this leave me and what am I going to do next?

That’s what I was doing at church today. I had my eyes closed and I was partially praying, partially thinking those questions. What am I going to do?

Then out of no where.

She was there.

In my mind.

Sitting in the pew in front of me, turning around smiling at me. Her beautiful red hair framing her face. Fingers gripping the back of the pew.

I opened my eyes.

I couldn’t see her.

But for a moment she let me know that she’s still here.

She loves me.

A Memory

stephaniemoorewrites

I went to Target today and it reminded me of something.

There were a few of Rory’s characteristics that I think were influenced by her brothers.

She rolled with punches. There were very few things she’d hang onto.

She was tough.

She loved to be outside playing in the dirt with our animals.

And her taste in toys.

I took this picture in a Target aisle a few years ago. It was just the two of us shopping while her brothers were at school.

My girl.

A Memory

stephaniemoorewrites

A couple of weeks before Rory passed.

We were on our way home from school. At that point it was a 40 minute drive.

I glanced back and Rory had this peaceful smile on her face.

Every time I looked back, the same smile.

I wondered what she was thinking so I said her name.

Her head turned, the smile remained.

I didn’t disrupt her again. But watched her beautiful smile the whole way home.