Tag: loss of a child

One More Angel in Heaven

stephaniemoorewrites

After we moved across town, we attended a different congregation of our church. On that Sunday, the first people to introduce themselves was a cute older couple, Dick and Donna Pexton.

They were kind and welcoming.

It wasn’t long until we realized we had something in common. We’d both had a child pass away. Ours was fresh, theirs was 60 years ago. But it bonded us.

A few weeks ago they realized Donna’s cancer would not be cured. I had the opportunity to sit with them. Talk with them. Love them.

Last week, Lance and I had the opportunity to sit with them again. This was different. She was near the end.

There was such beauty, in a hard situation. I witnessed a daughter laying next to her mom, holding her hand, caring for her. I witnessed a loving husband, looking after his lifelong sweetheart.

I’m sure that situation didn’t change much until Donna passed away Sunday night.

My first thought was how happy that reunion must have been between Donna and her baby boy. He’s been waiting a long time to hold his mom again.

As I sat there with Dick and Donna that day, my spirit cried out to her spirit, “Give my girl a hug too. She gives really good ones.”

I hope Rory’s found Donna. She’s spunky too. They’d really get along.

Love you, Dick and Donna.

CPR

stephaniemoorewrites
Thank you, Allison Morgan, for teaching me and our girls.

One of the questions I get when people hear my That night story is, “How did you know CPR?”

The first time I was asked, my thought was, doesn’t everyone? CPR has just been a part of my life since I was 12.

In our church young women from ages 12-18 go on a camp out every summer. Part of the certification process is learning CPR and first aid. So every summer, I’d get a refresher course in CPR.

Then when I was 23 and pregnant with the twins, Lance and I got CPR certified. We wanted to make sure we knew how to do first aid on infants. It’s different than with adults.

After that I spent a few years working with the young women of our church and so every summer I got a refresher course of how to perform CPR.

Things change slightly. Like how many compressions before you give breath but the motions have pretty much stayed the same.

My compressions. My breath. Didn’t save Rory’s life That night.

But I know I did everything I could.

If you don’t know CPR, learn it. You never know what life is going to bring.

Joy and Grief

stephaniemoorewrites

Pendulum

I’ve heard this concept explained in a few different ways but my favorite is the visual of the pendulum.

On one side there’s extreme joy.

On the other extreme grief.

Then in between are various levels of grief and joy.

When one experiences great joy with a person, when that person is gone, great grief is felt.

I experienced extreme joy with Rory. Which then leaves me with extreme grief.

Would I be willing to give up the joy I had with her to now lessen the pain I’m in?

Would I give up the daily kisses and hugs that made me feel special?

Would I give up the hilarity of watching her try out new dance moves?

Would I give up the comfort of her morning cuddles?

Would I give up the extreme pride I felt when I watched her conquer her anxiety?

Would I give up the funny faces she would make with me at church?

Would I give up making her my buddy for those years? Taking her everywhere?

Each of those make the pendulum tip a little higher.

That girl.

She brought extreme joy to our lives. Her absence has left extreme grief.

But I’ll take the grief.

I’ll live with it for the rest of my life. Because it meant that she was part of it.

Part of me.